A *Paris Hilton* - an expensive hole
A *Dennis Wise* - a nasty 5 footer
A *Salman Rushdie* - an impossible read
A *Rock Hudson* - looked straight, but it wasn't
A *Cuban* - needed one more revolution
An *Elton John *- a big bender that lips the rim
An *Adolf Hitler* - two shots in the bunker
A Saddam Hussein - from one bunker straight into another
A *Yasser Arafat* - ugly and in the sand
A *Kate Winslett* - little bit fat but otherwise perfect
A *Gerry Adams* - playing a Provisional
A *Glen Miller* - didn't make it over the water
An *Arthur Scargill* - a great strike but a poor result
A *Russell Grant* - a fat iron
A *Rodney King* - over-clubbed
An *O.J. Simpson* - got away with it
A *Princess Grace* - should have taken a driver
A *Princess Di* - shouldn't have taken a driver
A *Robin Cook* - just died on the hill
A *Michael Jackson* - gradually fading
A *Douglas Bader* - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
A *Ken Livingstone* - quite far left
A *Jean-Marie LePen* - a long way right
A *Ladyboy* - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
A *condom* - safe but didn't feel real good
A *circus tent* - a BIG top
An *Anna Kournikova* - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A *Vinnie Jones* - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A *Sally Gunnell* - ugly, but a good runner
A *Liz McColgan* - Ugly but runs forever
A* Brazilian* - Shaves both sides of the hole
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