A scouser walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... you know, I just HATE being on benefit, I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent.We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is £200,000 a year".
The Scouser says, "You're bullshittin' me!"
Social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."